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Vietnam knows the answer.Vietnam knows all answers to all questions.
[Caution] Strong language ahead.
Russia: My sunflowers won't grow, da?
Vietnam: MIRACLE GROW THAT SHIT.
England: No one likes my cooking!
Vietnam: BITCH, USE A COOKBOOK.
America: You won't go on a date with me!
Vietnam: DAS CUZ YOU'RE ANNOYING.
France: England won't marry me...
Vietnam: HOE, YOU'RE A RAPIST. DAS WHY HE WON'T.
China: All my children are leaving me, aru!
Vietnam: I LEFT YOU CUZ YOU OLD BITCH.
Japan: Germany says I can't eat salty foods...
Vietnam: GO ON A DIET BEEEOOOOTCH.
Germany: Italy is being a pussy.
Vietnam: BITCHSLAP SOME SENSE INTO YO HOE.
Italy: DOITSU DOITSU DOITSU DOIT-
Vietnam: SHUTTHEFUCKUP BITCH.
Spain: Romano won't admit he loves me! D;
Vietnam: MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T MOLEST HIM EVERY HOUR. DAMN.
Romano: Spain keep molesting me! That Bastardo!
Vietnam: JUST TAP THAT SWEET SPANISH ASS AND GET IT OVER WITH.
Prussia: I don't need your help! I'm AWESOME!
Vietnam: INDEED YOU ARE BITCH. INDEED YOU ARE.
Hungary: Prussia is
Teenage TaoismGiving birth is the closest I’d ever felt to dying.
Before that, my near death experiences had consisted only of my silent announcement of pregnancy—silent, being that my social media accounts were all deleted almost simultaneously and I never returned to school in the fall, saying without really saying that I had caught the malicious disease of “teenage pregnancy”. I’m sure the whisper spread in the hallways like the Bubonic Plague. That September, sitting at home on what would have been the first day of my senior year, I imagined friends I’d never talk to again saying “she was only seventeen, and so full of life!” at my absence in the cafeteria tables, as if they were attending my funeral instead of talking about me behind my back.
"Full of life," I had snorted then, folding a never ending stream of what had once been my own baby clothes. "Literally."
I walked around like a zombie for the months of my pregnancy, deciding t
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